Ah, how I wish I had a long, deep, lovely thing to post today.
Instead, I’m tired and grouching (that’s not a word, Hohorst!) to Chris that my time is already stretched here and I hardly have friends yet! What a complainy-face I can be.
Listen, I’m writing this at 11:04 pm and I have to go to bed. Now! Someone’s going to have to carry me to my bed and it’s not going to be this cat on the couch beside me.
But I want to tell you this: This morning I got up at 6:50 and sat on my deck with my coffee and several mosquitoes. I used the daily prayer guide at Sacred Space (which I highly recommend, by the way) and I let myself be quiet with the Lord for a little while. As I moved through the process of prayer, becoming more and more aware that August was watching a show in the living room and Brooksie would be waking up soon and was probably crying in his room that very minute, I came to the short scripture passage for the day.
I read it quickly, the way you read a recipe. Or an email from Groupon, looking for something to make it worth my while. Then I moved on. Do you know what the next screen asked me to do? Envision Jesus sitting beside me and talk to him about my reaction to the scripture passage. Did anything stand out to me? Did nothing? Why or why not?
I said, “Jesus, I don’t even remember what I just read. I’m tired. I’m sorry I can’t even pay attention for five minutes.”
Do you know what reply I sensed?
Micha, do you think I don’t know you’re a mother? Do you think I don’t realize that when Brooks wakes up he’ll need you? I always know that you’re a mother, even while you’re praying. You don’t have to be remarkable. I love you. I love you: distracted, stressed, lonely. I know you and I love you.
Anybody else need to hear that today?