The problem with having a blog in which you’re constantly revealing yourself to strangers is the tendency to only reveal the pleasant parts of yourself (intentionally or unintentionally).
See, you may think I’m a super deep thinker and all I ever do is meditate on powerful and spiritual things about motherhood, except for when I’m asthmatically jogging at the same pace as the postman is walking, or reading important novels while intentionally pursuing “authentic community,” green living, and smiling sweetly into my husband’s eyes as we hold our children and spin in the backyard. In short, I sometimes think Mama:Monk is a caricature of Micha.
That’s why you should know that I have several weaknesses, which include always choosing People magazine and Real Simple over Benedictine spirituality books, being obsessed with semi-famous people and convincing myself that they’d really want to be friends with me if they just had the chance, watching British period pieces (ahem, Downton Abbey) at the expense of meeting writing deadlines I’ve set for myself, and always always always LOVING the Golden Globes.
See I think the Golden Globes is the best awards show of the year. I’ve felt this way since eleven years ago when Jennifer Garner won Best Actress in a TV Series and my roommate Molly and I nearly choked on our Papa John’s pizza cheering for her. (We were the world’s most loyal Alias fans, at least before it went lame-o after she and Vaughn took down SD-6. Who’s with me?)
This is why the Golden Globes make me far happier than the Academy Awards:
- Celebrities are sitting at circular tables and eating and drinking. You get to watch them interact! They convince us that they actually like each other! They’re drinking which results in, ummm, much more interesting acceptance speeches…
- The Golden Globes honors comedy much more than the Academy Awards. So, the movies that most of us care about actually get awards.The Golden Globes are not concerned with being Hollywood self-important…so there’s no obligation to make the movie with “the message” win.
- Come on! You know you love to see where Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are sitting in vicinity to Jennifer Aniston. You know you want to watch awkward interactions. You know you do!
- Everybody’s less nervous, more excited, not entirely sick of awards ceremonies and taking bigger fashion risks because it doesn’t matter as much.
- Read this article from Slate about how the Golden Globes get it right far more often than the Academy Awards do.
Now it’s time for BEST and WORST dresses! (According to Micha)
Worst:
Zooey Deschanel (Zooey, I love everything you do and everything you wear and everything you sing and I think you’re the coolest ever and I tell every one to watch your show. So, I have to say, I felt a little betrayed when you showed up in that lizard dress, girl.)
Lea Michele (Lea, you are also dear to me, friend. But did you really think you could be sexy JLo? That’s not your way, darlin’. Stick with what you know…)
Sofia Vargera (one of several scary mermaids)
Amanda Peet (wearing lampshades apparently)
More sad choices!
And now for my favorites! (There was a lot of skin-toned dresses out there but most of them were just not doing it for me. What did you guys think?)
Sarah Hyland (She has the skin-toned thing going on but I think the belt helps.)
Claire Danes (My husband wasn’t a fan of this dress but I think it’s the coolest.)
Now I’m off to think about really important spiritual things, okay? And jog slowly. And gaze into my family’s eyes.
Love,
mama:monk 
Every time I head the term “end game,” I think of Rambaldi.
I mean “hear” not “head.” It’s 6:30 in the morning.
Of course you think of Rambaldi. Because you’re awesome.
Alias was the greatest. Loved it.
The greatest greatest. At least for the glory years.
Man I miss goofball Micha! Good to see you again!
Oh, Elissa, I’m so glad you were happy to see her. For your sake, I’ll make Goofball Micha show up around here more often, especially if people keep wearing ridiculous clothing to awards ceremonies, which will most likely keep happening. 🙂
If people knew how many British period dramas I watched, they would think I was possibly mentally unhinged and had no life and possibly did have a lot of cats. I absolutely love them; along with Taylor Swift, Cheetos, and a few other things that make “blog me” blush and pretend like I don’t know myself in public. 🙂
I’m so happy you love Cheetos! I let myself eat them once a year and I savor every chemical…
I agree with you on most of your choices (Sarah Michelle Gellar’s was AWFUL). I wasn’t really a fan of the fin-thing on Natalie Portman’s, but overall it was okay. And totally agree on Claire Dane’s dress!
Glad to see this post–I think it falls under the category of “authentic”.
The more I think about Claire Dane’s dress, the more I love it. I don’t know, you and I might have to go back and forth about Natalie Portman’s fin. I kind of thought it was awesome. But at least we can agree on the awfulness of Sarah Michelle. Awful. Terrible.
SUCH a relief to see that you, too, are human and shallow from time to time. :>) I’m bummed that I forgot about this show because I always enjoy it. And hey, honey, I was one of the original subscribers to People – over 30 years ago. But we cancelled this year because there are just too dang many people featured that we have no clue about. (And it’s gotten trashier, IMHO. If that’s possible.) LOVED this. And agreed with your dress choices right down the line.
One of the original subscribers to People! Diana, you crack me up. And now, after all this time, and all those “Most Beautiful Man” covers, you’re giving up! Way to take a stand. 🙂
You crack ME up! And I believe it’s “Sexiest Man Alive.” Ahem. I may be old, but I ain’t dead. :>)
I’m so lame! “Sexiest Man Alive” I’ll try to keep that in mind. 🙂
Alias was the best. Especially before Sidney disappeared and Vaughn got married to that other girl, Lauren.
I totally agree. I didn’t even care those last two seasons! Ahhhh, Alias…